Hey Mama,
We’ve all heard of mom-shaming. Some of us have even felt its sting. Those moments when someone’s glance, comment, or silence made us feel like we were doing motherhood “wrong.” But recently, during one of our Wednesday #Mom2Mom Conversations, I found myself thinking about another kind of shame: self-shaming.
I imagined a simple, everyday scene: taking my kids to the store. They start crying, demanding everything in sight, creating a scene that turns every head our way. As I pictured it, my thoughts shifted quickly from what I would do to how I would feel.
Ashamed. Like a bad mom. Flawed. As if my children’s public emotions were somehow a mirror reflecting my failure.
And if I looked up to see another pair of eyes on me, judging or not, I might still expect judgment. That expectation alone is enough to make me shrink, rush out, and vow never to try again.
But that’s what self-shame does. It tells us stories that are not true. It makes us question our worth as mothers and as women.
Last week, a mama in our circle shared powerful insight on handling those meltdown moments. Her words reminded me that our children’s emotions don’t define us. Our children are learning emotions. They’re still figuring out the language of feelings, and sometimes, their loudest moments are simply their way of saying, “I need you.”
So today, Mama, here’s your gentle reminder:
Don’t be ashamed of your motherhood.
Reevaluate your inner self-talk. Are you shaming yourself without realizing it?
Your child’s outburst is not a reflection of your failure; it’s a sign they trust you with their biggest emotions.
Your baby wanting to be held is not “spoiling.” It’s connection.
Choosing to stay home doesn’t make you less. Choosing to work doesn’t make you more.
Be kind to yourself and your children.
Silence the inner voice of shame.
Motherhood is not a performance. It is a process. One that requires faith, grace, and patience, especially toward yourself.
So the next time you find yourself in that store aisle or anywhere your child’s emotions feel “too much,” take a deep breath, hold space for both of you, and remember: you are doing better than you think.
“Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” — Psalm 34:5 (NIV)
Let this be your reminder today, Mama: you don’t have to carry the weight of shame. God already lifted it. Walk in grace, not guilt.
What does self-shame look like for you? Share your story or join our next #Mom2Mom Conversation this Wednesday as we explore another aspect of motherhood..
